“Smoothiegate”

Written By: William Petsinger

Recent reports alleging that Gold Speaker of the House Terrance Jefferson is accepting bribes are raising concerns among several delegates at Model this year. This sort of unacceptable behavior has only recently been brought to light, causing many to call for Jefferson to be exposed and suffer the consequences needed for such nefarious deeds. The reported bribes, becoming more and more common every day, have shown to consistently be made up of fruit smoothies, a drink that Jefferson has announced a taste for among his political cohorts. These sweet bribes have raised many questions as to the legitimacy of Jefferson’s position of authority within the Gold House. Many alarmed delegates claim it to be difficult to trust a man so easily persuaded by a simple fruit smoothie to hold a position with so much responsibility, such as Gold House Speaker.

Few programs led by high school students have as clean a record in history as Youth and Government has earned. Delegates of history have worked tirelessly to keep corruption out of YAG politics, a difficult feat when dealing with several hundred kids, but still historically managed. Now, with the widespread accessibility of smoothies of all kinds, political honesty is once again being threatened, now through a cheap meal item. When asked about the allegations of bribery, Jefferson had this to say, “Well, smoothies are delicious… I'm going to make the calendar anyway, if they are going to incentivise me to make the calendar with smoothies, I’m not going to deny it.”  Of course, a politician accepting bribes is always an issue at face value, but this specific case raises some very unique red flags. Jefferson did not agree with the term “bribery”, calling the smoothies “encouragement, persuasion, maybe,” and continuing that “never” would he accept what he considers a bribe. If Jefferson is in fact receiving these smoothies as political payment, we must know where he is using the energy gained by the contents of the mugs. Is he using this free energy as a way to further any legitimate agenda he may have, or is he continuing this dark calorie scam? This angle of “Smoothiegate” is one of the largest issues that delegates have with these allegations.

Simply put, Smoothiegate is a scandal, more delicately put, it is a cautionary tale of political honesty. We must ensure the straightforwardness of our Presiding Officers, and pressure them whenever they are alleged to have engaged in activities that would be very harmful to the amazing YAG program. I do hope you would take this conspiracy of sugary concoctions seriously, as it will be a guiding light to a prosperous future in YAG.